I find that one of the major challenges in having open relationships is simply that our society is completely and unabashedly designed to foster monogamy, thus it can be hard to feel normal or part of a larger whole. Luckily there are communities of people who share their experiences with open relationships (where I live there’s even a support group dedicated to poly people who are also kinky). And there are books, such as The Ethical Slut and Opening Up.
The Ethical Slut was one of the first books to address open relationships. Definitely worth having on a poly-friendly bookshelf, though it tends to make a lot of blanket statements without citing sources (as my little sister, the English major, pointed out when I sent her a copy).
One of the latest books on open relationships, Opening Up, by Tristan Taormino, came out recently. I had the pleasure of attending one of Tristan’s readings and obtaining copies of the book for my girlfriend and for me. We’ve both read it and now use it as a reference point when we need some normalization that other people deal with the same issues we deal with in an open relationship.
That’s where I find the most value in this book. It provides glimpses into the experiences other people have in their open relationships and does so in a poly-friendly way. In fact, it makes no bones about promoting open relationships as a viable lifestyle, while refusing to criticize monogamy for those who choose it. It’s a nice balance.